R.I.P Finally !
Tomorrow is the 14th March , not a very notable date to many people , and was not to me either until this evening . You see I was going through some papers I had written so many years ago , and discovered that on Wednesday the 14th March 1973 my father died in Dublin .
Now if I said that we never got on , that would be a gross understatement , he and I just never seen eye to eye . He was a violent alcoholic , who liked to pawn all my possessions to feed his habit week in week out . Now any person who is around the same age as myself , will understand , that back then things were so much more obvious and transparent . Everything was either black or white , there was no such thing as grey area's . But I was the grey area in my parents life . I was the person who could not be controlled , I suppose I was probably a royal pain in the ass . So two devout parents were always going to find it difficult to have any understanding of who I was , or more importantly where I was going , and by every means available to me , that I was going to get there
So without much to say in this respect , I will only say , I know we never got to know each other much . I know you never took the time to check me out . I know I have always probably blamed you for everything , and probably you , me . You see when I needed a father you were never there . When I needed enlightenment , you were always enlightening yourself with whatever alcohol that was available . I won't go on , because that would be just too painful . What I will say finally is , tomorrow on your anniversary , I will finally lay your ghost to rest . You will never enter my head as someone worth remembering again . You will never again take my energy away . R.I.P dad . Finally ......................!
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Now if I said that we never got on , that would be a gross understatement , he and I just never seen eye to eye . He was a violent alcoholic , who liked to pawn all my possessions to feed his habit week in week out . Now any person who is around the same age as myself , will understand , that back then things were so much more obvious and transparent . Everything was either black or white , there was no such thing as grey area's . But I was the grey area in my parents life . I was the person who could not be controlled , I suppose I was probably a royal pain in the ass . So two devout parents were always going to find it difficult to have any understanding of who I was , or more importantly where I was going , and by every means available to me , that I was going to get there
So without much to say in this respect , I will only say , I know we never got to know each other much . I know you never took the time to check me out . I know I have always probably blamed you for everything , and probably you , me . You see when I needed a father you were never there . When I needed enlightenment , you were always enlightening yourself with whatever alcohol that was available . I won't go on , because that would be just too painful . What I will say finally is , tomorrow on your anniversary , I will finally lay your ghost to rest . You will never enter my head as someone worth remembering again . You will never again take my energy away . R.I.P dad . Finally ......................!
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