THE HENWATCH BLOG

                                                       Where do your brightest ideas come from ? What is it that prompts you into writing or doing a specific thing ? How do the sentences that make up a blog , a song , or even a comment come from ? It comes from you , simple , it comes from you . You see without you I would probably still be talking to myself , and by doing this I can still talk to myself and not feel guilty about it . So you need  to be commended and thanked for your input and appreciation .                                                       Its at times like this that you can stand back and just look at different ways of approaching things . You don't always get the best from yourself by using the same old ways you have always used . Sometimes you just need a different approach , a fresh perspective , because if something is broke , fix it .                                                      That brings me to the reason for my writing here this evening . I

                                                             This has been a very difficult week for some friends of ours . Not difficult in a bad way , just difficult in that when someone is trying to organize something , all the arrangements and all the details that have to be just right . First of all in terms of the lady involved , she has to have all areas of the body rubbed , waxed , her nails have to be done , and her everything has to be just right . You can't turn up for this gig in anything other than your best , and of course for this lady only the best will do . To be honest though she does deserve nothing but the best .                                                             The finishing line is in plain view now , the runway has been prepared . She will fly off into the clouds of preparation , and knowing her she will land perfectly on Friday . You see Friday is gonna be her very special day , she is going to commit to someone for the rest of her life , and noth

                                                          Some things and some people are an ever present in your life , just like your surroundings and the love you have for them . But if you are lucky , there will always be that special person who you know that to rely on them is the easiest thing in the world . God they can be cutting , Christ almighty they can really do your head in . Always wanting you to be on time here , wanting you to eat your dinner there . They are consistently at you to make yourself look good , they tell you to zip your lip when they feel its the right time to . And most importantly , as I said if you're lucky , they will heal you when you are sick . They will brighten your day wth silly stories of their childhood , and they will love you passionately and completely . You of course will love them unsparingly in return .                                                         If you are lucky , you will have memories of these occasions . If not you wil

                                                              Have you ever noticed that certain charities and " Good Causes "  always make their way on to media sites ? I opened up one particular site this morning , and there lo and behold was an appeal to help victims of the earthquake in Nepal . The site added that it had  given 2 million euro to the appeal , and asked if everyone else could just give 4 euro to the funding .                                                              Let me say from the outset that I am all for giving to the needy and the hungry , and victims of all sorts of travesties . But what really annoys me is the fact that most organizers and executive directors of these charity appeals are paid such vast salaries , that it becomes a bit hypocritical of them asking you me and the rest of the nation to help with these appeals . You see their salaries are paid for by your contributions , its simply called administration fees and the like . Take unic

Yep That's Me !                                                        I would like to apologize to all the readers for not putting anything of substance up yesterday . I was kinda busy cleaning the house , and searching for replacement knobs for my cooker . You'll never believe how hard it is to get them , and the price of them too , nine euro for one knob . Anyway I had little success coming up with them so I just had to superglue the existing ones , Mcyver will never be dead in this household . I could make a rocket launcher out of a vacuum cleaner . So apologies again !

                                                          After a lot of nonsense , things have kinda settled down . My demeanor has changed , my mood has certainly changed , and to be honest its getting very comfortable for me at the moment . So comfortable in fact that I feel I need to talk to someone regarding these changes . You see I am not one for changing easily . When I get a thought or an idea in my head , most of the time I like to expand on that thought , and make it more attractive and maybe more feasible . Sometimes you've got to understand , that thoughts and the expansion of them are what is necessary for us all to thrive . I mean where would we be without a simple thought ? I mean how would Leonardo Da Vinci have got on without a thought , and maybe a second one for that matter . Without a second thought The Mona Lisa would probably be smiling . Without that use of thought he wouldn't have generated as much interest during the Italian Renaissance .            

                                                            I am racking my brains here , and nothing is coming out . Its like someone has put a anti virus block of my cognitive abilities . This must have happened as I was sleeping last night , there's no other explanation . I didn't really sleep too well , and I am not one who remembers their dreams often . I only remember the ones that can wake me from my slumber . My wife on the other hand explained to me her dream this morning . She was whimpering at one stage so I kinda woke her from her dream . She explained she was on top of a very high wall and was just about to plummet to her death when I saved her . Now that's what husbands are for , no more no less .Of course there are other things they are good for , but this being a public blog , needless to say we wont go talk about that .                                                            And there was I thinking I had nothing to say , sometimes your power of thought

                                                             You reach a stage in your life where all the so called important matters and even relationships no longer take center stage in your world . Its just not that important any more to be worried from the time you get up in the morning till the time you go to bed . You've had enough of the constant daily drivel that occupies your every waking hour . You have taken stock and decided enough is enough . Your days will now be filled with wonder and merriment , and no one is going to stop you . It doesn't really matter too much if you can't remember some of the things that need changing , only that you know a change is going to happen .                                                             This isn't something that has just crept up on you , it is something that has been developing over so many years that you were basically unaware of . Its like after so many years of total commitment to everything in your world

                                                  There used to be an activity that most Americans used to enjoy , and it was called Feyir Plei . It was a game where everyone asked each other questions in the course of a day and preached to each other about their own self worth . It was basically a game of self promotion , and obviously the more you promoted yourself the least chance you had of losing . Because losing in the face of your peers was something to be avoided at all costs . Now the guy who dreamed up this game , his name was Hone Sti , and he was a right stickler for playing by the rules . He wasn't particularly popular as you can well imagine , but as I said he always insisted on rules , and abiding by them .                                                  People used to Lyttel Lyer explaining the rules of Phuc Eue ! think of him as just another annoyance , like someone who goes out of their way to screw up your day . I personally seen a side to him that is no

                                                             I have always been sensitive to the efforts of others when it comes to speaking about tolerance . But the word tolerance conjures up all sorts of views and attitudes . To me tolerance means an acceptance of other peoples religions , an acceptance of other peoples traditions , ethnic origins and beliefs . I have always been of the opinion that if some creed , some tradition , some human condition ,be they different from mine , and I can incorporate them as being useful in my daily life , well then I find them acceptable . And even at a later stage if I decide that I no longer find something tolerable then I discard it .                                                             The same can be said of peoples sexual orientation , if its the way people are then just accept it for what it is . You see there are a lot of people out there who think that ones sexuality is a choice . Not true . Ones sexuality is a given at birth

                                                                   I love reading peoples contributions to discussions and notices posted on media forums . I especially like it when someone is sending a hidden message to some else . You may not even know the people involved , but it brings out the curiosity in everyone when someone states their position on a particular subject . You try to read into what has been posted , and probably nine times out of ten you get it wrong . It still doesn't stop you from being a little bit nosy though , does it ?                                                                   Lets speak about apologies , lets just think about that one .Sometimes an apology is all that's needed to fix a particular problem .Sometimes its sufficient to make things alright . But what about an apology that has been through the mill , and every time that apology is made it makes it that little bit less sincere . You see to apologize is to admit a fault . It is to

                                                        It takes time getting to know oneself . Especially if you tended to ignore all the things about yourself that make you , you . You have been very disrespectful to yourself too , you have abused your body in so many ways , and haven't given a damn about it either . You have explained it away by just saying that that's what you do when you're growing up and taking care and stock of yourself will come later . But for now its party time and anything goes , there will be time enough to worry and get serious when you've wasted yourself enough . Sound familiar ? It should do , its you me and every one of us who has grown up with an attitude of live now pay later . Sure we may die and if we do there will be nothing to pay , only the fare to the grim reaper .                                                        Do we actually treat ourselves with so much disrespect ?  Have we gone past the stage of actually being serious

                                                           And now for something completely different ! I think its time we all started to behave in an outrageous out of character type manner . Sounds good ? You know like for instance , if you have never been one to be outgoing or maybe just a little bit naughty , go frighten the life out of your family and friends with a f... you attitude . I don't mean in a nasty way , but rather in a mischievous or couldn't care less way . You'll really have the neighbours and of course your family talking like parakeets . Don't you just really want that to happen , don't you want to give them a kick up the ass in expecting you to be that person who never socializes or just sits there without any inclusion in anything . Wouldn't it be a little funny just to see their faces drop at the character change they are just witnessing ? Do it . Do it now before you change your mind .                                                  

                                                            I just had my dog all over me like a rash wanting to go out and play . I told her I was busy writing a blog , she wasn't too impressed . I then told her that I would mention her in it and she seemed a little bit more receptive to my ignoring her . Its very difficult to ignore a dog , they annoy you into running after them . They plan stuff you are not privy too , until its done . They steal the limelight when entertaining people , and they get you to clean up after them . Like W.T.F.?                                                            Every afternoon her friends call round to see if she is coming out to play . I have heard myself saying to my wife recently , that the dog has more friends than I do . Which is fairly accurate , as the whole street wants her to entertain them on the green as she runs this way and that after her most prized possession , her ball .                                                      

                                                     He said goodbye and left for good . He was on his way to Jersey , Channel Islands , to pick up a Job he had sent applications for . He was to work in The Norfolk Lodge hotel for the season in Jersey , so accommodation wasn't going to be a problem , and food too was included , I mean you just can't go hungry no matter what .                                                     He got on the plane in Copenhagen still kinda withdrawn from his earlier adventures . He was on his way to Gatwick where he would connect with his flight to Jersey .He slept most of the time , and arriving in Gatwick was but a dream . His case was transferred to the Jersey flight, bought a bottle of Bacardi in duty free and he was on his way . The plane landed safely in St Helier , though his landing wasn't so safe .                                                   He was feeling a little ill as you can understand , and all this travelling didn'

                                                                So there he was the night before he left Odense (Denmark) , in his apartment surrounded by friends from all over the world . Of course there was the Irish contingent , the Danish of course , The Sudanese and never forgetting the Somalians . We had all gathered together for his going away party , and it was going to be a humdinger . The bar was set up in its usual place , you see going out in Odense was always a costly affair , so the obvious thing to do when having a party was to buy beer from the supermarket and sell it at cost price at the party . Clever ? No one was ever too skint to go to one of our parties , and then there WAS always the Somalians .                                                               They had access to the weirdest stuff imaginable , and were always too kind with sharing . It was his going away party and it was gonna rock , He took up his customary position facing the red curtains , turntab

                                                            Good morning everyone , take a look at that sky out there , isn't it just amazing ? And we're still only in spring ! What's happening man , does this mean we have been forgiven for messing the world up ? Or is someone trying to draw us in to a false sense of security . Doesn't matter man , bring it on , we are invincible ! What a crock of shit !

                                                   Sometimes you just have to ask yourself , whats the use in punishing yourself with all those healthy routines and diets . I mean they are designed specifically with you and  countless millions in mind ,  who have issues in relation to their weight , their height , their appearance , teeth , I could go on forever . Think a little outside of your comfort zone . Now These manufacturing companies just love the fact that everyone is so inhibited about their bodies . If someone has a perfect ass , their boobs are too big . If someone's hair is too thin there is someone else complaining theirs is too thick . Eyebrows too , waists too , teeth too , again I could go on forever .                                                  I do understand that everyone wants to look their best , and that's to be commended . But where does it stop in the search for the ultimate body ? People should realize that certain things and fashion trends just

                                                           You ask an apple how it grows , and he will tell you no one knows , You ask again , he won't explain , You see young man we're all the same . These are the words of wisdom that befalls anyone who tries to be at one with the universe . The scientists will explain away the ins an outs of the growth process , but to you and me growing apples will always be a mystery . You want to understand how all life begins , you want an understanding of what makes us , us . To over simplify life would be a gross insult to science , but in doing so you will encourage the wrath of the people who live their lives explaining these things away . You see its their bag , its their way of showing you how superior they feel . Sometimes its just easier to say to yourself , to enjoy the apple will suffice . I need no explanation of its history or its origins . The fact that it pleases me is enough to ward off some senseless worrying about how we

                                                          I have just noticed China and Australia have been added to the list of the well informed . They both have been added to the readership , and you are all so very welcome to the bloggerdome . There are no rules but one , and that is that there aren't any ! You are welcome to participate or just enjoy the ramblings of an inquisitor . I have only been doing this for a short while , but with the level of interest and participation I find it very liberating . So welcome once again .                                                          Now to speak of things that are maybe taboo , is to really poke fun at all of our inhibitions . Those  little things that we only do in private , never to be seen by an outsider . It can range from picking your toes to self denial and all that goes with it .                                                         Once upon a time all of our little idiosyncrasies were nothing but something el

                                                              So now you know that I am available to write on weddings , communions , christenings and bar mitzvah's and the like , it should be very obvious now that I am in the market to write on your behalf . That doesn't mean as a ghost writer or something as important as your life story , no , it simply means that if you need some prose to get you out of a corner well I'm your man . I mean we can be secretive about this if you like , the details don't really matter to me , just that I get paid at the end of it all . It would be like having your own personal grief/happiness counselor available to you at your beck and call . Sounds good ? Well you know where to contact me if there is anything you may require . I will be fast with my replies , and I promise same day satisfaction . You simply give me the subject you want me to write on your behalf , and Bob's your uncle ! Do me a favour though , you can pass this blog

                                                           First and foremost let me just say how much I enjoy writing these blogs . It gives me the freedom to fantasize and abuse those who need abusing . There are too many issues out there that need highlighting , and to be honest sometimes I am left bewildered by some of the issues that are passed over . I am simply writing from experience , and you will know instantly that the given subject is either fact , fiction , or utter twaddle . So don't be fooled as is often the case , by thinking I am being over critical . I am never over critical , in fact the opposite would be the case . If I don't have enough information or relevant facts I will suddenly go off into the trees and dream up enough scandalous detail the subject warrants .                                                           That is not to say I would be libelous , no , I would just plead the fifth and claim either loss of memory or a sharp decline in my mental

                                                        I just have to share this with you . I have just heard that heavy snoring is definitely linked to memory loss and mental decline . From a personal perspective there's absolutely nothing to worry about , as I have always been in control of my mental health and my unbelievable memory . Its something you could always set your clock by , my memory and how healthy my mental state always appears to be .                                                        So if there are any of you out there who are prone to heavy snoring , being prepared for the loss of your memory will definitely be a positive step . Now the decline of your mental health will definitely have to be monitored , and I assume the best one beside yourself should be your wife / husband or partner . Unless of course your relationship is in the toilet , well you wouldn't want to give them any reason to suspect there's a decline in your decision making .Now that

                                                          Why is it that sometimes you do have to explain yourself to people ? You do have to hold their hand and tell them the intricate details of why you said something , or why you acted in a particular manner . I mean its not rocket science , that when you have been decisive about something , it should be accepted as your choice . I mean nobody pushed you into this decision , you didn't make it under duress . There was no one holding a gun to your head , it was plain and simple a choice you made .                                                          But you see there lies the problem , there are some people who think that by them having an input into your personal life it gives them some sort of responsibility over you . That couldn't be further from the truth , if you decide to have someone in your life its because you want them there . Not as an ornament on a shelf , or just one more person to add to your collection of

                                                         I have taken down my mountain bike , I have just had the wheels pumped up , and I'm ready to go . A journey that would take normally five minutes , has taken fifteen . Now in the whole scheme of things , its maybe not too important , but today I have made a commitment to that bike , that I will ride it and love it even though my ass might fall apart . These are the things in life you just have to do . There are no excuses now , its time for Lance (Henwatch) Armstrong to make a comeback . Keep an eye out for me , I will be the one zooming past your door with all my tags attached . I will be promoting world peace , more use of the condom , and my own little favourite Give a Dog A Bone . So if there is anyone out there that needs promotion , just send me your details . My wife will be only too happy to process all the applications and will inform you of our decision as soon as possible . The charge for such promotion will be

                                                              I will give you the keys to my soul , and the way to my heart , if only you give me hope in return . I will flatten a path for your bare feet , to stop the flow of blood that oozes from your open wounds .I will build you a staircase that leads you to the road of forgiveness and light . I will tame the savage beast that blocks your progress , and use him for companionship as I will train myself to be worthy of your consideration . These infamous words were written by nobody special , no one who deserves or needs your appreciation or approval , and will continue to write when there is even no subject to speak of .                                                             The flame of his passion is undying , just like that strength that Samson used to summon whenever it was needed , his passion is and ever will be unyielding . He has no followers of note , but he has the one thing missing from many of our lives , the one th

                                                            I couldn't care less , I really don't give a damn , everything in your life is so controlled and manipulated that at times you say to yourself sure what's the point ? But the truth is much more relevant , its the thing that causes you to be concerned , to be outrageous , to be not just another statistical number that is harassed and dictated to by the powers that be . I know its rather easy to just down tools and say that's it , I've had enough . But you are better than that , to allow others to define your life , to tell you how you should feel , how you should behave in the face of so much oppression , now that's just downright unthinkable .                                                            You see there is a definite charge out there trying to influence you , trying to gain your trust . Just look at the way things happen during a general election for example . You listen to all these self a

                                                     There are right people in your life , and there are wrong people in your life . The difficulty is working out who are the right one's and who are the wrong one's . Sometimes its easy to to work it out because it can be so obvious who the one's are that are not good for your health . But then there are people who you would open your heart to , and the very next thing you know is that they are bitching you behind your back . Now they are the real pigs in the basket , they are the toxic chemical that messes up the mix , if you get my drift ?                                                     When you discover that person and realize what they are capable of it can be very disheartening , because there you are accepting them and their advice only to find out your best  interests were never their concern . Its the nature of most people to be considerate and concerned , but you will always get the one who is so self centered

                                                        My wife was speaking to her wonderful aunt who lives near London earlier on . Now to know scattiness is to know this woman . She is the ultimate scatterbrain , but a more kind and loving person you just wont meet . She is coming up to her eightieth birthday soon but she is as strong in character and body as she ever has been .                                                        Unfortunately her husband of many many years is not at all well at the moment , so much so recovery from this illness is practically nil . This woman has committed herself as always to his welfare and upkeep as she always has . When it comes to him being looked after there is no one who could do better .His doctor advised on having him sent to hospital so they could look after him there , she declined the invitation as did he , explaining and asking what is it they could do for him that I can't ? The doctor was very understanding of her honesty and

                                                     G/Day to all you supporters of the right to govern oneself . Today is a day of celebration , in fact everyday has a reason for celebration not just today . But because I feel this way lets just celebrate today and call it Monster Monday . There doesn't have to be a reason , but the fact you have survived another week without killing someone or tearing your hair out , gives credence to my belief that today is a day for celebration .                                                     You can do it outwardly and invite everyone to join in , or you can just keep it private and celebrate it in your head . Either way you're doing the right thing . Maybe keeping it private would be a better option , because you just know there will be people out there who will ridicule you for what in their opinion would be a non event .But if you want you can try and bring them round , it may be difficult , because who knows whats going on in

                                                     Just try me ! Just listen to what your heart says and try me . I am a simple person of little expectation who thrives on communication . Leave all of your inhibitions in a room that is well guarded and try me . There is no reason for you to be skeptical , there is no reason for you not to be able to open your heart and mind to everyone else . They won't judge you , I won't judge you , the only one you should worry about judging you is yourself . You see you are your own worst and stiffest critic unfortunately , but don't worry too much because that's the way we all are , and there's nothing new about it .                                                     Some people just take themselves too seriously unfortunately , and it can stop them being nice people . I did it for long enough , I mean everything to me was an arduous task , it was always a struggle because I took myself and others too seriously . Often a mi