Message to Self , Wake the F... Up !

                                                               When will it all stop ? What has someone to do to get some peace in this life ? Where are all the happy thoughts that were promised to me in my dreams ? When was being inspired a hurdle that needed crossing , and the sweet smell of an oven baked loaf the last thing on earth you could think of ? Uninspired afterthoughts , systematic failure to understand that the life that is given can often be taken away . These are the thoughts of someone getting to grips with having to listen to a continuous barrage of constant and never ending verbal strangulation .

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                                                               You can't make sense of any of it , your input into a situation is constantly given with knowledge and care . The answer in return is an ignorance of coping that is so laid down with defeat and lack of purpose , that it truly is depressing listening and sending your strength only for it to be ignored . Thoughts on the surface that appear indistinct , unclear , without any great substance are the one's filling that void that is that area between your shoulder blades . If brought to their attention , would never realize that they were the subject of the conversation .
                                                              I am not of this world , I am but a vessel to be used in case of emergency . When someone utters that certain call to my conscience , I will run with all haste to be there by your side . I ask one thing in return , that you listen and follow my lead when instructed , that you understand that any decisions made are made in your own best interest . You need to distance yourself from the idea that all in the garden is rosy , its not fu..... rosy its in such deep recession that I cannot help but say that things may never recover the way you want them to.
                                                              You see carrying a decaying branch on your tree is akin to suicide . Its like the rotten apple in the bag , it will infect and kill the others . You must be able to see this . You must be able to understand the gravity of the situation . This cancer that is pulling you inside out is beginning to spread everywhere . My mind cannot help but scream and shout with utter frustration at your lack of strength . There is a power inside of you , that has for so long been dormant  , that you fail to realize its existence . That power will fail you , it needs your co-operation and presence , and most of all it needs to be recognized .
                                                              Message to self, Wake The Fuck Up !.