And Chelsea Won 5-1 , F... You Eircom !
I am going to try and not get too excited or angry while I write this piece . Though to be honest , I can't really see that happening , and when you find out you will understand some of my obvious frustration .
Friday morning last , like any other morning , I sat down with my lovely wife for breakfast . Lulu our dog was present , so everything was as it should be at that hour of the morning . We did our normal things , caught up with the latest news , did a little facebook , you know the usual ? We finished breakfast , cleaned the place up a little . The fire was cleaned out and re stocked , we were off to a good start . I had a good feeling about that day !
It was time to sit down and have a coffee , while we caught up on some more news and stuff . I opened my laptop , signed in , lit a cigarette and proceeded to browse . There was no fu..... wi fi connection ! There was No signal , nothing , not a blip , not a jot ! I called on my patience buddy inside of myself , and he whispered , don't lose it , it'll be something simple . My wife also advised caution and restraint before I knew the full story .
The coffee was left on the counter top , this won't take a minute I heard my patience buddy say . I did the usual , I checked every line that is connected to every wall and socket , and checked them all three times over . This was not going to be as simple as I first thought . F... you patience buddy , you got it wrong this time you twat .
I rang my provider as you do , explained my predicament , and just to make the story a little more urgent , I lied that I was waiting on a very important phone call about a relative who was not too well in the states .He understood the importance of my call and proceeded to check everything from his end of the line . After an hour of going back and forward over relevant and irrelevant information , he gave me the bad news .He was very polite , but the bottom line was , I was screwed .
He pointed out that it wasn't a service provider problem , but that my telephone line was DEAD . Now how can a phone line just die like that ? He explained that he had registered my line as being dead with the appropriate people in Eircom , and from now he informed me I was in the hands of the Gods . He also explained , it being Friday , not to expect too much from Eircom as they don't work weekends .
How sad does a bunny look when they get a little miffed off ? The thought didn't bear thinking about , poor little bunny . That was how I felt . It was going to be a long weekend , and Chelsea were playing Man City on Sunday . What the F... was I going to do ? Keep calm I could hear him saying , there's nothing you can do I heard him cry . Fu.. right off I replied , I don't want to hear your scabby little voice inside my head again .
Monday morning came so slowly , we sat down had our breakfast and played solitaire on our laptops . I was cracking at this point . My phone rang . This is Paddy from Eircom , I see you were without your phone line and wi-fi over the weekend . Yes I replied , and me expecting a very serious call from the States I told him . Well he said Christy from the exchange disconnected your line mistakenly , on Friday morning , and you have been re-connected within the last five minutes . Christy said that he is sorry , and he really hopes
you weren't put out too much . Well I said , with patience buddy reminding me to be mannerly , Paddy , you can tell Christy to f... off with his apologies , and also tell him that I hope his manhood falls off .
And Chelsea won 5-1 , what a bummer I missed that .
Friday morning last , like any other morning , I sat down with my lovely wife for breakfast . Lulu our dog was present , so everything was as it should be at that hour of the morning . We did our normal things , caught up with the latest news , did a little facebook , you know the usual ? We finished breakfast , cleaned the place up a little . The fire was cleaned out and re stocked , we were off to a good start . I had a good feeling about that day !
It was time to sit down and have a coffee , while we caught up on some more news and stuff . I opened my laptop , signed in , lit a cigarette and proceeded to browse . There was no fu..... wi fi connection ! There was No signal , nothing , not a blip , not a jot ! I called on my patience buddy inside of myself , and he whispered , don't lose it , it'll be something simple . My wife also advised caution and restraint before I knew the full story .The coffee was left on the counter top , this won't take a minute I heard my patience buddy say . I did the usual , I checked every line that is connected to every wall and socket , and checked them all three times over . This was not going to be as simple as I first thought . F... you patience buddy , you got it wrong this time you twat .
I rang my provider as you do , explained my predicament , and just to make the story a little more urgent , I lied that I was waiting on a very important phone call about a relative who was not too well in the states .He understood the importance of my call and proceeded to check everything from his end of the line . After an hour of going back and forward over relevant and irrelevant information , he gave me the bad news .He was very polite , but the bottom line was , I was screwed .
He pointed out that it wasn't a service provider problem , but that my telephone line was DEAD . Now how can a phone line just die like that ? He explained that he had registered my line as being dead with the appropriate people in Eircom , and from now he informed me I was in the hands of the Gods . He also explained , it being Friday , not to expect too much from Eircom as they don't work weekends .
How sad does a bunny look when they get a little miffed off ? The thought didn't bear thinking about , poor little bunny . That was how I felt . It was going to be a long weekend , and Chelsea were playing Man City on Sunday . What the F... was I going to do ? Keep calm I could hear him saying , there's nothing you can do I heard him cry . Fu.. right off I replied , I don't want to hear your scabby little voice inside my head again .
Monday morning came so slowly , we sat down had our breakfast and played solitaire on our laptops . I was cracking at this point . My phone rang . This is Paddy from Eircom , I see you were without your phone line and wi-fi over the weekend . Yes I replied , and me expecting a very serious call from the States I told him . Well he said Christy from the exchange disconnected your line mistakenly , on Friday morning , and you have been re-connected within the last five minutes . Christy said that he is sorry , and he really hopes
you weren't put out too much . Well I said , with patience buddy reminding me to be mannerly , Paddy , you can tell Christy to f... off with his apologies , and also tell him that I hope his manhood falls off .
And Chelsea won 5-1 , what a bummer I missed that .
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