Apologies , I Never Meant to go There !

                                                           Where among the deepest recesses of your mind do you find the will to carry on after an extreme traumatic experience in your life ? I am not talking about something minor in value , but something extremely traumatic . I haven't ever experienced the like , and I really don't want to even if its just to understand the experience and the process. But what really fascinates me is the strength of human endeavour and the human healing process .
                                                          We can never really understand what someone else goes through when faced with complete disaster in their lives . Be it losing everything you've ever had because of an economic downturn . Be it the loss of someone young and close to us . or having to watch close up the withering away of someone you quite dearly love .
                                                          I have never had such a loss in my life , and to understand that is to understand grief . I don't want to understand it , I don't want to know it , but I know possibly I will feel it at some stage in my life . When I face it I will be hateful of it , and I will despise it . I will do what's required of me , but I will feel loss and and it will lose me .
                                                          Its a very sensitive subject to touch upon , and I don't really know how I feel writing about it . Trying to picture grief in its most ugly form and experience it , is akin to trying to understand how it feels when you pull your teeth out with a pliers . Thinking about it is quite scary and it has a face of pure darkness . Its obviously just one of the dark paths you have to take in your life , but knowing that does not make it more acceptable or agreeable , and it certainly doesn't make it easier knowing we will all at some stage go there .
                                                         Let this be the last time I speak on such a dark subject . While finishing now , I feel some more calm than when I started . I never expected to head in this direction , but when something develops in your head its so very difficult to ignore it . And so here I am , wishing this blog to be over and to start on something a little brighter and lighter in colour . I will endeavour to avoid this subject again , as if its hard for me to write , it must be difficult for you to read . Apologies , I never meant to go there !
  No matter how fast light travels and tries to reach its destination , darkness will always have been there first .
No need to examine or analyze me , I am Well Beyond That !

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