The Unwelcome Guest !

                                                                            There's a strangeness that is creeping into my performance as the human being I expected me to be . That includes lapses of the judgement that is needed to function properly on an every day basis . That could also include steering myself in the wrong direction when it comes to understanding a problem that might have been my displeasure to be associated with . You should know the type , dealing with anything that could be both personal and impersonal . It doesn't really matter , because having to deal with it will always be a thankless , and also an uncomfortable experience .
                                                                           It's the things that make you want to just shy away from that are the most difficult .You go around pretending that everything is hunky dory , when in fact you are so out of touch with yourself and others that it becomes a daily task just to convince yourself otherwise .And it can be funny that what you are concerned about , can and often does turn out to be nothing more than a storm in a teacup . There is the power of the subconscious in all of its glory , in all of its destructive force , in all of its displeasure at you trying just to have a normal happy day .
                                                                           It can be traced back to you creating this situation that you find yourself in . It can be seen , if you are attentive enough , being totally honest with yourself about how and why you have found yourself in this sort of predicament . You make it complicated , you make it so serious that it starts to effect your ability to solve even the simplest of tasks or problems . You have entered the realm of the unnecessary . You have opened the door to the unwanted . You have given yourself to the legions of negativity , and started to behave accordingly .
                                                                          I find myself asking myself , why is it necessary to go there . Why does the answer always be , because that attraction I am drawn to will always have a special place in my heart . I don't actually want it to be such a special place . I want it to be a place for me to avoid at all costs . I mean its not a place of happiness or filled with good vibrations . In fact its the total opposite , being filled with sad songs and even sadder stories that really nobody wants to listen to . I wish nothing but bad luck for that place . I wish nothing but the most brutal of endings to all of its stories . Stories I used to be part of , that are not written for me anymore . But alas are certainly written for others .
                                                                         This is a place I really don't like visiting . Its a place that envelops your very being . It smothers you with uncertainty and doubt . Where decisions are not what you expect them to be , turn out to be lessons in how a life can be wasted and sometimes lost .

Just Because I Like it !

                                                                         I apologize for taking you on this trip . Its not a place I like to stay for too long . Its such a begrudging place . Be thankful all of you who have never ventured here . And don't just , because you may at some stage happen to be curious , try and visit us here , because like the verse in Hotel Californian .....................You can Check Out , but you Can Never Leave !