An Open Letter From An Insomniac !
Its getting toward the end of the current year , and already I am wishing it gone . Not that I am wishing my life away , more like just get it over with and let us try and begin again on hopefully a better note . Its getting to the point that come the evening time , when you have a little time to reflect on whats gone on during your day , you just know in your heart of hearts it could have gone maybe a little better . With a little less drama , and more of a constructive contribution from ourselves .Something that you can sit back and look upon as being more in the way you would have liked it to be , and after examination you realize your efforts were to put it mildly , leaving a lot to be desired .
Its this self analysis that has us questioning ourselves from the moment we wake up in the morning , till the time we go to bed at night . And if you happen to be a real psychotic , it just doesn't end there in real time , but carries itself over into what we call our resting hours . Resting hours my ass , the drama that can occur , and so often does during our sleep , can leave you at times much tireder than you were before you went to that other universe where you were promised some rest and so many other beautiful things . Who it was that promised this , well I have no way of knowing , but I am beginning to get a little pissed off by all of their misdirected and misguided positivity . Everything will be fine and dandy when you get yourself off to sleep . And we as idiots believe what they say . Just take your medication and you will be fine , soon you won't be able to keep your eyes open . Two hours later Mr Sandman is having an open conversation with you about the secrets of the Universe .
You lay there having spoken to all of those sheep you have been counting , and believe it or not they start speaking back to you . Things like you've already counted me , you'd better start again . And this time concentrate . Off you go again , and immediately you are derailed wondering are you really as good hearted as you would like to be . You start questioning all of your actions and deeds , and wonder to yourself could I have done better . Could I have made life a little easier for somebody else today
? Do they even know that I am concerned and am trying my ass off just to ensure they have some sort of happiness in their lives ? Then you get to the stage where you say to yourself , sure why should I bother , they won't understand or appreciate what you have done anyway . And then you're gone . Falling , falling , lost in that deep pocket of space that hides behind those closed eyes of yours . Eyes that have been screaming for your brain to surrender to sleep . Always feeling being deprived of what you truly deserve , just a little peace .
Its this self analysis that has us questioning ourselves from the moment we wake up in the morning , till the time we go to bed at night . And if you happen to be a real psychotic , it just doesn't end there in real time , but carries itself over into what we call our resting hours . Resting hours my ass , the drama that can occur , and so often does during our sleep , can leave you at times much tireder than you were before you went to that other universe where you were promised some rest and so many other beautiful things . Who it was that promised this , well I have no way of knowing , but I am beginning to get a little pissed off by all of their misdirected and misguided positivity . Everything will be fine and dandy when you get yourself off to sleep . And we as idiots believe what they say . Just take your medication and you will be fine , soon you won't be able to keep your eyes open . Two hours later Mr Sandman is having an open conversation with you about the secrets of the Universe .
You lay there having spoken to all of those sheep you have been counting , and believe it or not they start speaking back to you . Things like you've already counted me , you'd better start again . And this time concentrate . Off you go again , and immediately you are derailed wondering are you really as good hearted as you would like to be . You start questioning all of your actions and deeds , and wonder to yourself could I have done better . Could I have made life a little easier for somebody else today
? Do they even know that I am concerned and am trying my ass off just to ensure they have some sort of happiness in their lives ? Then you get to the stage where you say to yourself , sure why should I bother , they won't understand or appreciate what you have done anyway . And then you're gone . Falling , falling , lost in that deep pocket of space that hides behind those closed eyes of yours . Eyes that have been screaming for your brain to surrender to sleep . Always feeling being deprived of what you truly deserve , just a little peace .
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