THE HENWATCH BLOG

                                                                   I have been thinking recently . Now that can be dangerous depending on the subject matter . I said to myself its been a while , you know , thinking about things ? Since my wife Catherine doesn't really approve of such actions , be they dangerous or otherwise , I had to do this secretly not needing to have her sitting on my shoulder editing and such . But by the end of this piece I'm sure she'll have approved my efforts in her own special way !                                                                    Going to sleep last night I received this epiphany , as you do as you're just about to drop off . Not really looking forward to putting up decorations and such , untangling Christmas lights , even though I do remember wrapping them safely last year , I still hadn't put it to the top of my to do list . So for all of you fellow worriers out there I am about to The  reveal the Revelation of the dec

MAYBE !                                                                        Look I have listened to you long enough to know , that what you are proposing is a complete change in my mindset , and to be honest under different circumstances I might just do what you are proposing . But in my more idealistic , and serious personal state at the moment , I will choose balance , rather than change .This choice of mine of course , does not mean that I intend to remain in limbo , as it were , but no , just like the famous Phoenix Rising from the ashes I have reserved the right to alter any and everything that I have promised previously . More like an , out with the old and in with the new type of approach .                                                                       Now as most of you already know , I am not one to entertain change too easily . I tend to be of the belief that if its not broke , well don't try to fix it . How many times has someone tried to improve on someth

                                                              Sometimes , there's this overwhelming silence that goes round in my head . It's so powerful at times it can be truly deafening . Where it comes from is anybody's guess . I have just learned to handle it's effect if any , and deal with it accordingly .                                                               You see having conversations with yourself , I suppose can do this to you . And then there comes the silence . That truly deafening hole that spreads bigger and bigger the more you either try to escape it , or worse still , confront it .                                                               What do you say to something that is all powerful , all knowing , and never considers your feelings ? How do you approach something that is not to be understood physically , or even understood mentally ? Its the ultimate question I have to ask myself . Do I take its importance seriously , or do I simply

                                                                  So there you are , after experiencing a pretty dramatic event and an ambulance having to be called . You're not quite sure what the fuck is going on , but you just know you're on your back , and you're being rapidly attended to by two people in whites and covid masks . The ambulance is doing at least 100 , getting round corners is pretty scary never mind what's happening inside your body . All you now know is that you collapsed , having experienced pains in your arm and chest . No one 's sayin a word , your wife/partner couldn't accompany you due to covid restrictions , so you've now got the added stress of worrying about them .If they do try and follow you to the hospital there is no guarantee that they will be allowed to stay . What a fuck up this is , and all you were doin was havin a cup of tea in the kitchen , without biscuits or cakes I need add . Like how is this goin to get better ? Ho

                                                                    In the huge scheme of things we live our lives in a way that has been somehow mapped out for us .  We wake every day and do the things that are expected to be done by others , but mostly by ourselves . Most of the time we are pleased by our efforts , and sometimes we just let ourselves down . And that's okay too , because we're not as perfect as we would like to be , or as others might expect us to be . We are as good as we want ourselves to be , or as we hope ourselves to be .                                                                    Now at this time of year I tend to get a little sentimental about stuff . You know what I'm talking about ? Family , the future , the dog and I suppose a little about our own mortality . The rest of the year seemingly it simply doesn't seem to matter . Christmas and even more importantly the change over from one year to another is so deep in our character and

                                                                        If someone clutches at straws , perhaps that is all they have to hold on to . If someone never sees the light in an angel's eyes , perhaps they were never really looking that well anyway . When someone has dreamed endlessly about escaping something that can only be described as a living nightmare , perhaps that nightmare is actually their truest reality . All of these situations , be they real or just a figment of my imagination , or someone else's, can be a perfectly normal existence for the people involved . Perhaps even created by themselves without their knowledge or consent , and accepted as their own version of some sort of psychotic normality .                                                                        Its wasted on me how this sort of thing can actually happen . Be it a long lost memory of childhood that haunts someone . No matter the reason or excuse , for some this is an every day oc