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Thank You For Your Patience !

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                                                                   I have been thinking recently . Now that can be dangerous depending on the subject matter . I said to myself its been a while , you know , thinking about things ? Since my wife Catherine doesn't really approve of such actions , be they dangerous or otherwise , I had to do this secretly not needing to have her sitting on my shoulder editing and such . But by the end of this piece I'm sure she'll have approved my efforts in her own special way !                                                                    Going to sleep last night I received this epiphany , as you do as you're just a...

It Can be Really That Simple at Times !

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MAYBE !                                                                        Look I have listened to you long enough to know , that what you are proposing is a complete change in my mindset , and to be honest under different circumstances I might just do what you are proposing . But in my more idealistic , and serious personal state at the moment , I will choose balance , rather than change .This choice of mine of course , does not mean that I intend to remain in limbo , as it were , but no , just like the famous Phoenix Rising from the ashes I have reserved the right to alter any and everything that I have promised previously . More lik...

Phraktal Solstice Summer 2021

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The Solitude of Silence !

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                                                              Sometimes , there's this overwhelming silence that goes round in my head . It's so powerful at times it can be truly deafening . Where it comes from is anybody's guess . I have just learned to handle it's effect if any , and deal with it accordingly .                                                               You see having conversations with yourself , I suppose can do this to you . And then there comes the silence . That truly deafening hole that spreads bigger and bigger the more you either try to escape it , or worse still , confront it .                     ...

Shantakaram ! Hope you Don't mind Vincent !

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                                                                  So there you are , after experiencing a pretty dramatic event and an ambulance having to be called . You're not quite sure what the fuck is going on , but you just know you're on your back , and you're being rapidly attended to by two people in whites and covid masks . The ambulance is doing at least 100 , getting round corners is pretty scary never mind what's happening inside your body . All you now know is that you collapsed , having experienced pains in your arm and chest . No one 's sayin a word , your wife/partner couldn't accompany you due to covid restrictions , so you've now got the added stress of worrying about them .If they do try and follow you to the hospital there is no guarantee that they will be allowed to stay . What a fuck up this is , and a...

Happiest of New Years Everybody !

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                                                                    In the huge scheme of things we live our lives in a way that has been somehow mapped out for us .  We wake every day and do the things that are expected to be done by others , but mostly by ourselves . Most of the time we are pleased by our efforts , and sometimes we just let ourselves down . And that's okay too , because we're not as perfect as we would like to be , or as others might expect us to be . We are as good as we want ourselves to be , or as we hope ourselves to be .                                                                    Now at this time of year I tend to...

Time to Inhale Deeply ! Minutiae !

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                                                                        If someone clutches at straws , perhaps that is all they have to hold on to . If someone never sees the light in an angel's eyes , perhaps they were never really looking that well anyway . When someone has dreamed endlessly about escaping something that can only be described as a living nightmare , perhaps that nightmare is actually their truest reality . All of these situations , be they real or just a figment of my imagination , or someone else's, can be a perfectly normal existence for the people involved . Perhaps even created by themselves without their knowledge or consent , and accepted as their own version of some sort of psychotic normality .                         ...