Breaking News ! Courtesy of Alternative News Service !

                                                                    Welcome to an alternative version of the news . It is not meant to provoke , though it just might .It is not meant to be sarcastic , but it probably will . It is not meant to be damning of any one individual or group , but it certainly will . And finally , it is not going to be deliberately misleading , but when this brain of mine gets into gear ( and it doesn't happen very often ) , it can say and make me do things , that afterwards , well ............maybe on reflection I shouldn't have said in the first place . But don't blame me personally , I have age on my side , and I tend to forget things when someone confronts me about things I may or may not have said . As we all know , everything is open to interpretation , and one mans yes , could easily be another mans no . Let us proceed without further ado .
And he Still Is !
                                                                   Welcome to the News , we hope you are all well . It has come to our attention that there have been several coups taking place all over the world simultaneously today . There are unconfirmed reports that President Joe Biden , Mr Benjamin Netanyahu , Rishi Sunak,( Prime Minister ) , Germany's ( Prime Minister ) ,Sheikh Abdullah Bin Nasser Bin Khalifa Al Thani (  Prime Minister ), Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey ,King Salman Kim Jun Un ( President & Prime Minister & Self Proclaimed God) have all been taken hostage , and flown to one of the worlds smallest islands for rehabilitation .
                                                                  They have been taken to the island of Nauru in the Pacific ocean , where President Russ Joseph Kun has welcomed them all individually . He has offered them the hospitality of the island , and has spared nothing in an attempt to rehabilitate these sick Psychotic bastards . There has been put into progress a complete news blackout , in an attempt to curtail any information on their progress been leaked to the press .
Pretty Accurate !
                                                                 It has also been pointed out , that certain Presidents from the B.R.I.C.S league of nations have no involvement in the coups that have taken place . Though , its a bit coincidental , that none of those countries that the B.R.I.C.S league of nations represent , have had their presidents kidnapped .  Just an observation from an independent I need add , but something we can definitely talk about in more detail at a later date .
                                                               There have been reports coming through the news service where hundreds of countries have declared  wide support for these coups . They have also offered unlimited support to those countries ( whoever they may be ) who planned and executed these simultaneous coups .
The Island of Nauru 
                                                              As you can understand , it is difficult to get to the bottom of this , and its also extremely dangerous for President Kun at this moment in time . Seemingly one of his close advisors just happens to be an expert in the rehabilitation of people suffering from " Fucking Idiot Syndrome ", and he has explained to us how his revolutionary approach to this terrible disease actually effects the subjects . He simply said , and offered no more information , that the subjects i.e All of those that have been taken hostage , would go through a rigorous three monthly course of what he calls " Ecstacy enhanced Liberation ".
                                                             In conclusion , there are plans for a lot of Love Ins tomorrow throughout the world . We are offering to one worthy contestant , who has taken the best picture from their celebrations tomorrow , a Love in Bag to beat all others . And whats more , we will televise your celebrations live and exclusive on this television Channel . So get clicking , you never know , you could be extremely ecstatic , very very soon .
                                       This is your host HENWATCH signing off , and wishing you all a very lovely evening . XOXOX




No need to examine or analyze me , I am Well Beyond That !

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